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Insignificant pain

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This is not a sympathetic post but it is related to pain, not an insignificant pain. I’ve been dealing with my disease my whole life. Its not that bad I swear tapi nak buat macam mana its uncured-able. There’s so many methods I’ve tried. Recommended stuff. So many years trying to fix myself. But as I grew older, it got worst but again this isn’t a sympathetic post. So its been 5days been warded. Everyday there’s 3 times food coming in, 2 times baths, empat kali check suhu, berat and blood pressure plussss there’s also 4 times injections per day ye kawan-kawan, four timezz :’) Twice a day jugak, doctor akan check (of course), for improvement. Tak buat apa pun, just a normal check up :) And everyday they’ll ask me these same questions. “How are you feeling?” “Does it hurt?” Knowing me, I’m always fine. “I’m okay”, I replied. But every time that same question were ask, my mind couldn’t help saying, “which one? which pain are you asking?” Of course it hurts, it does. e...
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lovely buttered toast.

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post grad is such a confusing phase to be in. it hasn't really been easy to think that everything is going to be okay, to take my time and then find myself looking around without a path to see, those random goals I wish to achieve is still a dream. should have plan to persue my studies, shouldnt have thought of this long hiatus I've been saving money for while interning. at the time, everything you've been dreaming of is only visualized by you, you and your freaking dream. something in reality hasn't shown you and I guess this is how it feels not to have it all figure out yet some part of my hiatus, I do waste time. theres this one night i was heartbroken and i purposely slept the whole day and it caused me headache by the time I woke up. but I'm okay now. well I guess I am still in progress but I planned for every tomorrows to make myself busy despite the loneliness I feel in me. this, the phase I am currently in I have to say it ...
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Orchid

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This is a post about a person who havent exist yet but had already been loved, by me. Well, recently i had a dream about this kid named orchid. Not saying that its my real child or anything but i sincerely loves kids. So tak kisahla anak orang ke anak aku, its just a dream. Another happy dream. I remember being busy (cewah) with stuff i dont remember doing then this girl, orchid came to me. Tarik baju suruh duduk jap, dia ada benda nak confess so sis pun duduk ah kejap. I dont remember her face tho but i remember knowing how guilty she felt. She did something bad, she said. I swear that guilty face look so innocent like aaaaah i ken die melting. So habis ja dia confess, dia minta maaf, hugs and went straight up to bed. Well i guess she's my daughter en? Hahah entahla tanak put hopes. But for a moment there, in that dream. I didnt realise i was a mother. I mean who would have thought kan, sis baru 19 tahun kuttt diploma pun tak dapat lagi ni cemanooo ...
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